a blog and resources for trans survivors and loved ones

  • Empowering.
  • Healing.
  • Connecting.
When the phone weighs a million pounds

When the phone weighs a million pounds

Answering when friends call/text can be hard, even when you want to. Sometimes bodyminds swear it’ll take too many spoons, or you aren’t worth it, or you’re too symptomatic and boring. Here are some of my hacks: Letting go of the lie that it’s...
Carrying Grief and Euphoria from TDOR to Tomorrow

Carrying Grief and Euphoria from TDOR to Tomorrow

It seems like so few people in America know how to hold grief together. We are often isolated in all its crackling expanse, raw depth, and the ways grief makes its own fissures into each of our lives as uniquely as the designs of each snowflake that can already be...
When it Happens Again: Polyvictimization

When it Happens Again: Polyvictimization

I was assaulted again by people I knew six weeks ago. Though I have been immersed in antiviolence and survivorship work for the past decade, my mind immediately spun back to familiar myths of self-blame and caustic shame. I open this blog post with these difficult...
Slowing Down in a World that Teaches Speed

Slowing Down in a World that Teaches Speed

There’s a certain skill to knowing when to curl up beneath the blankets and allow softness to fill the space created after experiencing sexual violence, no matter how long ago or recent, intentionally letting go of anxiety and the pressure to do. Many trans and...