Defining Shame A possibly shameful confession: I chose to write a blog post about shame because I wanted to understand it and have an excuse to explore it fully. Like a distant lover, I know it well but don’t feel like I understand it at all. Yet when I searched for...

By Ana Lee Case I knew someone who said she had big feelings. She said they would wash over her like a wave and she’d feel like she was being swept out to sea. I could relate. I’ve had big feelings too, and I know what it’s like to be dragged away from the shore. When...

By Anole Halper Survivors of sexual violence sometimes blame themselves because in the moment of violence, they did something they don’t understand: rather than run away or fight back, they stayed still; they did nothing.  Image description: Image is a blue pie...

Many survivors struggle with traumatic anniversaries. What is a traumatic anniversary? The most obvious example is a yearly calendar date that seems to be circled in big, red marker in our nervous system, setting off cascades of emotional reactions. The anniversary...

by Loree Cook-Daniels Nineteen years later, I still wince at the memories of people who failed to show up for me after my life-partner’s death: the person who said, “just tell me how I can help and I will,” then told me how * I * could get blown-up copies of pictures...